Thursday, January 21, 2010

Keep Out of Reach of Kittens

I was told a tale this morning by one of my co-workers involving his two house cats. For the last week his cats had been acting quite wacky and strange. It was really starting to bother him and his wife. They were wondering if they needed a visit to the vet.

This morning while at work his wife called and informed him that, while doing the laundry in the utility room of their house, she had noticed the two cats were licking some fluid on the floor near the pantry shelf. She discovered the cats had climbed up into the upper shelf and tipped over a bottle of Tequila, cracking the seal and, over time, most of it had slowly dripped out onto the floor.

Yup! I wonder if there's AA for feline alcoholics.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Carpentry Quotes I've Heard In my Construction Career.

Howdy every one. I've returned again to the blogging world. I've been working on a new building for a local business. It's not quite finished yet. (There's only two to three months of construction left.) But enough excuses about why I've been away so long. On with my story.

I've picked up a couple of quotes from observant folks that I thought you might appreciate:

1). We were remodeling an apartment that was inhabited by an elderly lady. She had no where to go so she usually sat around chatting with us while we worked. The last day of the job, we encountered a problem with the trim around one of the doors. The drywall had been cut away to far and the trim wasn't quite covering the end of the drywall like it was supposed to. The right fix would have been to spend another day or two either taping the drywall up to the door jamb or removing the offending sheet rock and taking care not to cut to much away around the door jamb. We chose option 3. We fudged the trim over enough to cover most of the exposed gap. Then we ran a bead of caulk down the trim against the drywall and smoothed it down to cover the rest of the gap. All that was left was to touch it all up with paint and presto, finished. We were done in thirty to forty five minutes.

All that time, during our dilemma, the lady had sat quietly and watched us work. When we finished, she got up and inspected the trim around the door, gave a nod of satisfaction and said, " I've lived a long time and had a lot of dealings with carpenters. And in all my years of dealing, I've found one thing to be true.

"Oh? What's that?"

"Carpenters are just like cats. They cover up their dirty work."

2). I was on my way home from work and I stopped at a automotive service station to pick up my order of milk for the week. One of the station's tire repair men was sitting at the checkout counter filling out a bill and grumbling to himself.

"Bad day?", I asked.

"Yeah! Ruined a new tire."

I went about my business payed for my milk and he finished with his paper work. Just before I left, he turned to me and said, "I think I'm going to change careers to a doctor or a carpenter."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Because doctors and carpenters got it easy. Carpenters paint their mistakes and doctors bury theirs. I have to buy mine."

Purchase a T-shirt with a funny carpentry quote here.

Check my other humorous posts:
OK! I Surrender.
Keep Out of Reach of Kittens!

Cowboys That Joust.